Rainy Thoughts: Fear

As of May 5, 2019 I have officially been married for a year. What?! I remember the day almost perfectly. Craziness, mayhem, nervous butterflies and warm love. And some anger because my DJ was not doing a good job the first 45 minutes and I wanted to bite his head off and throw him down a flight of stairs. But I digress. My life is far from perfect and I think my wedding day reflected that, but in a good way. I still enjoyed everything and was so happy that all my family and friends could make it.

So what does my wedding day have to with fear? Everything. I was nervous and scared that everything was going to go wrong. But my worst fears didn't come true. Everything went relatively well and people enjoyed themselves and I looked great and I didn't let that fear get to me.

Let me tell you, I'm scared of plenty of things. I'm scared of long flights, drowning, heights, human experimentation (that's another day), being alone, and going straight down on a roller coaster. I'm sure there are other things, but these are the first ones that come to mind. And though I am terrified of plenty of things, I try my best to not let them get the best of me.

When my husband and I went to Japan, the first three fears that I listed above were coming true. I was up high, on a long flight, above water and I was going to a whole new country where I knew no one (except my cousin on base) and I was pretty nervous. And when I'm nervous and really scared, I think of all the worst possibilities, such as the plane getting hijacked, the plane falling into the ocean and not being able to swim and being abandoned in a foreign country, you know, happy thoughts. Even though I thought of all these possibilities, I didn't let that fear get the best part of me and take away my experience.

I've been really using my Japan experience as a way to help me remember that I am greater than my fear and you are too.

There is this blogger that I follow that asked the question at the beginning of the year, "What is your word of the year?" As I thought of all the possibilities, I made my word Fearless. Fearless is my word of the year and I have been doing plenty of things outside of my comfort zone and I reminded myself on our anniversary just how fearless I have become.

Like I said, I am terrified of heights and going zip lining has always been something I've wanted to do, but have been afraid of doing. But there we were, me and husband, going all the way up the ziplining obstacle course and ziplziining backed down. My feet felt cold, but after a little push, it felt fun and I felt like a bird, kind of.

So my friends, don't be scared to be you. And I know the world is a scary place, but the world is also magical, so please don't be afraid to do the things that make you feel alive.

What's something you've done recently out of your comfort zone or put away your fears for?


  1. Putting myself out there and just allowing for people to get to know me better.


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